I Am a Sports Orphan

WHOOO HOO!!!! GO! GO! THAT WASN’T A PENALTY!! DO YOU NEED GLASSES REF?!?!?

football players
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It is football season people! Well, that is, I think it is football season. I know, I know, so many of you just cringed. How could I not know for a fact that it is (enter any sport into this blank that you deem appropriate) season?!?! Well … the fact is, I don’t watch sports.

WAIT!!!

Before you never read another post of mine because I am, in your eyes, some anti-American who should be hung for such a crime … I really, like really, want to like sports. I WANT to watch them. I want to be one of the people at the bars who is screaming at the TV and is wearing my jersey (okay, honestly, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a jersey, but it fits the story so hang with me), and all of my friends and I are slapping each other hard on the back and banging our beer mugs together, and rooting for our team, dammit! We are a family! We stick together through thick and thin. Wins or losses! Our team is EVERYTHING TO US!

two persons holding drinking glasses filled with beer
Photo by Tembela Bohle on Pexels.com

Except, not me. I do not have a team. My husband roots for the 49ers and the Dodgers and obviously the Golden Knights and LV Aces, because clearly VEGAS STRONG, duh. But, it is not like we have every one of the above mentioned games on our televisions every time they play. In fact, we don’t even have ESPN.

WHAT?!

Yes … it is true. We barely watch sports in this house.

It is funny when I think back to my childhood and remember the role sports played in my house. How my dad could scream so loud at a TV over and over again and still claim to love sports, was beyond me. I mean, he was kinda scary about it even. There are not that many times during the year in Vegas where you can have your windows open, but when we did, the entire neighborhood knew who my dad was rooting for!

My first husband was the same way. He watched sports all day long on the weekends, and frequently I found myself praying, actually praying, that his team would win so that he would not be in a bad mood.

Maybe that is the reason I shied away. I couldn’t imagine being caught up in something so much that I would let it ruin my entire day, especially if it was literally something I had no control over. And don’t even get me started on my belief in jinxes and always rooting for the underdog!

But … with that being said … I still wish I could watch sports. I still wish I was part of that “family” whether it is the 49er family for my husband, or the Packer family for my dad, or whatever team/sport I so choose. I know you think there is a simple answer … Gail Ann, turn on the TV and watch them then, and quit complaining. But it isn’t that simple.

I HAVE TRIED!!!

But I zone out! It is a huge celebration (well, my husband says, “Good job, Lover!” and I smile and rock back and forth a little bit in my excitement)  when I watch an entire play from start to finish! I am not sure what is wrong with me, but a play will start,  I will get on my phone, people will start screaming and cheering, I will look up … and have to watch the replay to figure it all out. Sigh …

Not only do I zone out, but I have been known to do something that is quite embarrassing. I have been known to scream and cheer for a play, only to find out that I screamed and cheered for the opposing team! I know! I should be sent straight to sport-watching hell for that offense! I just get so caught up in the action, if I am actually paying attention, that I appreciate the talent no matter what side showed it off.

That doesn’t go over too well with the sport watching families I want to join.

I think I will forever be a sports-watching outcast.

I am a sports orphan.

Will any of you adopt me and teach me your ways? Is there some type of plan I can follow to become a fan, maybe like a diet-plan but instead, a watch-sports plan? Please comment with any advice for a wanna-be sports lover! I am desperate!

 

 

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